faith like a child.

WARNING: This will be a long post.

I can't even remember the last time I wrote on here. I think maybe it was a couple of days ago. I don't even know what the date of today is. But it seems like I've been here a year and it's only been a week and one day. As I said before....African Time (as we call it) is slow and takes some adjusting. It seems like the days go on forever...which could explain why we are so incredibly exhausted when we finally get to bed. Many things have happened since last I wrote but I am not going to spend much time catching you up on the everyday details. Instead...I would like for us to have more of a conversation because I need your help. In so many ways. Let me first tell you how I am feeling and then we will get to where you can help.

I don't even know where to start so let me start with the point: Life is hard. In general. And it's worse in Uganda. Dealing with life in Uganda is the hardest thing I've ever done. And I don't mean food and water and latrines. I mean the quality of everyday life for the average Ugandan.

Let me give you an example. I am sitting right now in an internet cafe in Kampala, the capitol of Uganda. This internet cafe sits in a "ritzy" mall (by Ugandan standards). (i.e. There is a supermarket downstairs that sells cereal and ramen noodles and paper of a decent quality and I am excited by this). Anyway- in this mall there are several shops, even a woolworths. The architecture is nice, the shops are nice, they are expensive by Ugandan standards and nothing next to American standards. And yet...I cannot wrap my mind around how something like this mall exists a mile away from the average life of Uganda:

- poorly constructed buildings literally thrown together with cement and bricks (i've watched this process a lot). And you know how we have nice ladders and pulleys in the states to help builders? Try sticks and thatch in Uganda. It's so unstable. The construction is so poor here that many builders die in a collapses of unfinished buildings. It happens all the time.
- the nicer houses are made of cement but they are not even up to government subsidized housing in the states. I live in one now. I promise they are not.
- if you are not lucky enough to have a cement house, which the majority of people are not outside of the city (which is the majority of people in general) then your house is made of mud (like yazoo clay for you mississippians) and sticks and a thatch roof. This means that during the rainy season (which is now) you are constantly rebuilding your home.
- If you are in an IDP camp up north...you're home is a grass hut. 50 huts burned in an IDP camp this week because a woman's small coal burner was left unattended and it caught her hut on fire. Now people that already had nothing have less than nothing. It happens all the time.

Let's talk about school. It's not mandatory. There is no government money for it. So it's all private. Most families can only afford to send some of their children to school and some have to stay at home to help with chores. That's if they can afford it at all. Mom and Dad, can you imagine choosing between me, emmalee, chuckie, and billy? Who would you choose to send to school so that they could learn and have hope of a better life? But it's a double-edged sword. Who would you choose to send to school so that they can have the burden of securing a job to provide for the family that could not go to school and secure adequate jobs?

The school that I work at in Najja is called the Hope For Africa Children's Village. We don't turn children away. Most of their parents have died from HIV/AIDS so they are either orphaned, living with a single parents, or with another relative. There is no money to support the school except for what my program fee that I paid to come here provides, a few small grants, private gifts, and the assorted things that Musuna and I have bought to donate. Assorted things like pencil sharpeners so that 5 year olds aren't sharpening their pencil with razors. The teachers had never seen a mountable pencil sharpener. Musuna bought the teachers lamps because they had no other source of light for their rooms (they live at the school). There is barely enough money to pay the teachers and much less feed the children. The kids are supposed to have porridge (that would be watered down grits in the states) in the morning and for lunch. The first day the school couldn't afford any (or at least that is what we were told...i'll get to that later) so the kids didn't eat. So Musuna and I didn't eat either. Instead...we sang songs. If You're Happy and You Know it, 10 Little Indians, the Itsy Bitsy Spider. And we played with jumpropes (that we brought) and I taught them hopscotch and clapping games.

Now there is money for the younger children who leave at lunch to have breakfast and the older children who leave around 4 to have lunch. It's better than nothing. There are only 25 sponsored children right now (we have 300 students). These children are the only ones who get a ruler, pencil, pen, and workbook (like a blue book for college exams). There are no textbooks for take home. There really aren't textbooks at all. Just small paper books that we would call workbooks in the states. All the other students are left with nothing unless their family can afford some materials. So we bought them materials.

The teachers spend so much time on remedial English (learning English in school is VERY important) that they barely get to teach other things. I'm not even sure our teachers are qualified to teach at the level they are teaching (this is to say nothing of their character. they are all very good people and excellent teachers). But for instance, I checked the curriculum book for Uganda in the "office" and it said that P5 and P6 students should be learning about bacteria and their feeding habits this week. Our P5 and P6 students are learning how to read aloud and I'm pretty sure they have never heard the word bacteria. It is all so frustrating.

Oh, and the first AID room. Yes, let's talk about that. I finally got to see the supplies yesterday. I was told they were locked up but that wasn't true (you find that many times you are not told the complete truth here too). The supplies consisted mainly of cotton swabs and wraps, half a bottle of hydrogen peroxide, a handful of surgical gloves and a few band-aids. These were kept in a plastic bag with a large hole in it and EVERYTHING was dirty. How can I clean a wound when I don't have clean water and all of my supplies are less sterile than my bare hands? Mom, you would have absolutely died. I took care of one student, Joyce, who had large wounds on her that looked maybe like insect bites that had become severely infected. I did the best I could under terrible conditions. But just to give you a glimpse of the heart of these children...she was more concerned about a fellow student Paul and his wound.

Paul (who by the way has stolen my heart) suffers from what I believe to be polio. I don't really know. He has no use of his legs and if you stood him up he would maybe stand 2.5 feet tall. He is 15. His arms are curled and he sits on a mill sack on the ground in his classrooms. One of his fellow classmates and friends wheels him around in a dilapidated wheelchair. But Paul can't even sit comfortably in the seat. so he sits on the bent footrest. He has a gaping wound on his knee that I could not fix because I had inadequate materials. And his health is too sensitive for me to do anything under conditions that are not sterile. I will buy supplies this weekend and try on Monday. I'm going to tell you more about Paul later.

So, I am the only first aid clinician, but what is my charge as a teacher? The main problem in Uganda is that many children have very low self esteem. Their condition is a very likely cause because as hard as they may work there is little hope for something better. But the main problem here is that children are not taught to dream. They have no concept of creativity or imagination. It is my job to teach the children how to dream. How do you do that? I don't really know but I've been trying.

The first day I wrote the word imagination on the board. They had never seen it before. I tried to explain it. They had never heard the words pretend, make-believe, fairytale, etc. So I reached for "Where the Wild Things Are" that we had read aloud earlier and made crazy animal noises with (which by the way david was a HUGE hit. you are wonderful). And I tried to explain imagination by showing them a picture of one of the made-up animals and asked them if it was real. I was hoping to explain that the author had made it up using his imagination. But i was stopped short because all the children thought it was a real animal. They assume that if it's on paper and in a book...it must be real. Sooo...we're starting from scratch.

But it's difficult. I put my name on the board and draw a picture of myself. And I ask them to write their name and draw a picture. The majority of them attempted to copy my picture word for word. (umm...most Ugandans don't have long wavy hair so it was easy to spot). So I tried something else...I gave them a piece of paper with only half a picture (ex: half a face) and they had to finish it. And I gave them colored pencils (you cannot imagine what a treat colored pencils are). But they still had trouble and only wanted to use their pens and regular pencil to color it in until I took them away and made them use colored pencils. FINALLY A BREAKTHROUGH!

I am trying to remember all the things we learned in our gifted classes in primary school that taught us to think creatively and "outside the box" as our teachers always said. So this is where I need your help...if you are still reading. PLEASE email me or comment with some ideas for ways to get the kids thinking creatively with as little materials as possible. games, activities, songs, etc. are welcome.

Here are some of the big hits so far:
- the Hokey Pokey...wow it's huge. They especially like when we put our carina (bottom) in and shake it all about. I was getting really tired to doing the same things over and over so I've made up new things like putting your nose and eyes in. That's really funny too.
- You are My Sunshine. Yes Dad, I taught it to them and the LOVE it.
- Reading stories where I make it interactive. They have to make funny noises and run around the room.


I have emailed some of you and asked for your prayers because it's been really trying this week. Most of you can gather that by the first part of this email. Sometimes it seems like there is no hope left in Africa. And it frustrates me because I wonder what would happen if America spent billions of dollars sending teachers and engineers over here instead of a war in Iraq. The difference would be huge. So big.

Yesterday morning I woke up and I was so discouraged and felt like I had lost all of my hope. And then I sang You are My Sunshine with the kids and we played the hokey pokey and they laughed and smiled (seca in Luganda...i say it all the time to them). And I found that all of the terrible things in the world and all of the smog and pollution here and all the disease and war and death in this country fades away in the smile of a Ugandan child. A child that is singing a song at school for the first time or shaking their carina or their nose. Everything that is good and wonderful in this world is reflected in their smile.

and so...i find hope again. in the children. and I think it's the same around the world. there is hope in the children. and thus there is hope for Africa and for the US and for you and for me.

love all of you. I'll leave you with a Jars of Clay song that I am reminded of. Miss you Wesley.

Dear God, surround me as I speak,
the bridges that I walk across are weak
Frustrations fill the void that I can't solely bear
Dear God, don't let me fall apart,
you've held me close to you
I have turned away and searched for answers I can't understand

They say that I can move the mountains
And send them crashing into the sea
They say that I can walk on water
If I would follow and believe
with faith like a child

Sometimes, when I feel miles away
and my eyes can't see your face
I wonder if I've grown to lose the recklessness
I walked in light of you

They say that love can heal the broken
They say that hope can make you see
They say that faith can find a Savior
If you would follow and believe
with faith like a child